The many theories of Kalo's return
by Fredd8
Summary: This is my way of celebrating Happy Heroes' Kalo's (a much loved hero) return. This could either be very funny, or very offensive. The plot was mostly taken from 'The Empty Hearse' from BBC's Sherlock.
1. Chapter 1

_ "Goodbye…"_

_ Crushing the orb he held in his hand, it caused a massive explosion that instantly obliterated all the enemy ships surrounding Kalo. He would have been killed by the impact too, being the closest to the bomb, but he was ready. In his other hand, he was holding a small device that would activate a shield of a strong bubble-like substance similar to Tian's powers when alerted of danger. The device activated quickly and formed the shield around Kalo before the bomb even exploded._

_ The force rocked the bubble containing Kalo, making it fly backwards until it was speeding towards a spaceship waiting a few meters away. In it was a sad-eyed girl with blue hair that hurriedly pressed the entrance button when she saw Kalo coming and let him zoom in, accidentally bumping into her. The shields closed and Kalo got up, kissing her on the lips briskly. _

_Everyone glanced tearfully at the sky when they saw Kalo's 'sacrifice'. All except one. Xiao, overcome by grief and helplessness, let out a scream of anguish before sobbing uncontrollably, tears dropping quickly like raindrops on the black visor Kalo gave him before flying to destroy the enemy ships._

_She hit a few buttons on the controls on her spaceship and it started to move. Destination: Planet Guling-_

* * *

"This is ridiculous!" Leader Qiu said, shaking his head. "Your theories are getting worse. Boy, I can't wait to hear your next theory. You'll be suggesting super pigs next!"

"Yes, but it could be true!" Mr Lightbulb insisted. "Or else, how could he have escaped that-"

"He never escaped, he's dead, end of story. Besides, he hardly knows Shang! And why would she want to help him?" Qiu retorted.

"Well, maybe he had talked to her before, we never know-"Mr Lightbulb began but was cut off, yet again, by Qiu.

"Mr Lightbulb, it's been three months. He's dead." Qiu said bluntly.

"Or is he?" Mr. Lightbulb challenged. He then realized Qiu was ignoring him and walking away. He called after him: "I believe in Kalo!"

"Well, that's not gonna bring him back." Qiu shouted over his shoulder.

* * *

_Xiao tried to stop Kalo but a wave of dizziness hit him before he could do it. The poison was spreading quickly and it was weakening him like the other heroes. He sunk on the floor and struggled to get up._

_ Because of the poison, he was unable to see properly and he failed to notice that Kalo was quickly replaced by a robot-look-alike. The onlookers also did not notice anything wrong as they were too far away to see the quick exchange._

_ "Thank you, everyone!" Kalo, hiding in a deserted alley, spoke through a walkie-talkie that was connected to the robot. Caesar was right next to him. Giggling, he typed in a few commands to the robot. Then, the robot filled with blue light as it readied itself for takeoff. The force of the rockets on the robot's boots cracked the ground. It was soon ready for launch._

_ "Xiao." Kalo spoke again through the communicator. The fallen hero on the ground raised his head to look at it. "Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened in my life."_

_ "Don't-" Xiao tried to protest, but the robot had already flown. _

_When it had attacked all the enemy ships that had entered the boundaries of Planet Xing and reached outer space, Kalo whispered through the communicator to the robot: "Goodbye."_

_Caesar typed in more commands into the computer for the robot to receive it. Then, the Kalo-imposter blew up._

_When they heard Xiao's scream, the two Adelians burst out laughing and couldn't stop for a while. Then when they did, they started looking at each other intently. Their eyes met, their hands touched, and their faces slowly drew together-_

* * *

"Excuse me, but what was that?" Mr Lightbulb asked incredulously. He was in a room with a few people, all of them wearing black visors similar to Kalo's.

"Just my theory, if you don't mind." The plump lady Mr Lightbulb was talking to answered in a-matter-of-fact way.

"Look, when I founded the Sixth Ranger's Club for thinking up theories about Kalo, I had expected you to be serious about it!" Mr Lightbulb said crossly.

"But I am being perfectly serious." She argued. "This must be the only way Kalo could have survived. Your theories are no better than mine anyway."

"Dad?" Lightbulb Jr. asked timidly. "Do we really need to wear these black visors?" The dark sunglasses were half-blinding him and he kept knocking into stuff.

Before Mr Lightbulb could answer his son, the lady he was arguing with whispered: "Oh my gosh."

She was holding her tablet and was staring at it, her hands shaking slightly. Everyone else started receiving notifications from their electronics as well. As they picked them up, the lady showed Mr Lightbulb her message.

"OH-MY-GOSH!"

On the message were pictures of Kalo's faint outline on a wall from a news report…


	2. Chapter 2

Kalo had finally found Xiao, all the way up front at the table in a restaurant, apparently waiting for someone. He suddenly felt nervous and reluctant. He hadn't thought how Xiao would react if he just came up to him. "Hey, I'm alive, Xiao! Now let's fight crime together!" wasn't such a good idea any more.

Just then, a waiter stepped forward, greeting him. "Sir, may I help you?"

Kalo tried to stifle a grin. Apparently not everyone remembered him. His ears still rung from Tian's horrified shriek when he made his appearance at the heroes' home. "There will be no need for that. I'm just here to meet a friend."

The waiter was just about to offer his help again when a couple came in and Kalo escaped. He ran towards Xiao and suddenly hesitated.

"'Scuse me, sir." a waitress said behind him, pushing a trolley of food. Kalo noticed the bowtie on her with a thoughtful frown and an idea popped into his head. He quickly ran over to another couple's table where he noticed a man wearing a bowtie and talking to his partner. A glass of water was next to him. Without a second thought, Kalo grabbed the glass and tipped the whole contents down the man's shirt.

"I'm so sorry!" Kalo cried as the man yelped and started wiping the liquid off his attire. "Let me get that... err... cleaned for you in the kitchen." He continued and slipped the bowtie off smoothly, tying it around his neck. Better.

Looking around, he saw a man placing his glasses on top of a closed menu. Kalo walked over. "Finished with that, sir?" he asked him. "Let me get that for you." Not paying much attention, the man waved him away. Kalo smiled mischievously as he swiped the glasses as well and placed them over his own eyes. Much better.

Scanning around again, he noticed a woman's handbag right beside her as she read the menu, which was lying open. Right on top was her eye-liner. He then offered her a menu as he passed, using his other hand to remove the menu she was holding. "Ma'am, would you please take a look at this menu? It's completely identical." A trick he had learnt; people tend to not pay attention to simple sentences. The moment she took the menu he offered her, he pinched the eye-liner and moved on, drawing a small pencilled moustache on his upper lip in one swift motion.

Finally reaching Xiao's table, Kalo addressed him in a disguised voice. "May I help you with anything, sir?"

Xiao did not turn around, his attention still on the menu. He didn't talk much unless it was important. He merely tapped on a selection of grape juices in the beverage column.

"Those are all excellent vintages." Kalo leaned closer. _C'mon, look at me..._

Xiao shrugged, still refusing to turn around.

Kalo, having lived with him for so long before he was forced to sacrifice himself to save the planet, understood. It was not really Xiao's area; he needed a suggestion. "Well, you cannot possibly go wrong, but if you'd like a personal recommendation," he jabbed a finger at the bottom of the list. "that one is a personal favourite of mine." Kalo straightened up, still using his disguised voice. "It is- as you might, in fact, say- a face from the past." He removed his glasses and looked at Xiao expectantly, but still Xiao did not look up.

Xiao nodded mutely. Disappointed, Kalo tried again. "It is familiar, but, err, with a quantity of surprise!" At his final words, he finally lapsed back into his normal voice, looking at Xiao, waiting...

Xiao handed the menu back to Kalo, his finger tapping on the drink Kalo had just suggested.

"As you wish, sir." Kalo said tetchily, very much in his own voice. He then walked away.

Breathing hard, Xiao fidgeted in his seat. The doors had opened again and a sad-eyed girl with long sea-green hair walked into the restaurant. She went right over to Xiao and smiled at him, patting him on the shoulder and joining him at the table.

"Sorry I'm late," she said, flushing. It was Shang, the hero from Planet Guling. She and her partners had taken a short visit to Planet Xing and she was asked out to dinner by the usually cold Xiao. After crying for a bit (she was fond of crying), convinced that this was a trick, she had agreed to come.

"You... look great." Xiao muttered, forcing himself to speak.

"Don't tease me," she said, her eyes filling with tears, "I hate being teased!"

"I wasn't! I mean, err..." Xiao gave up. He had absolutely no socialising skills, but he thought even then, a very socialised person would have trouble talking to her as well. He never talked much. Maybe that was why she liked him.

Just then, Kalo came over, glasses and fake moustache still on. He was startled to see Shang, and the ends of his mouth started twitching. "Sir, I think you'll find this vintage exceptionally to your liking." He said, shoving the bottle right in front of Xiao's face. He pushed it away, looking annoyed. Shang suddenly started giggling. "It has all the qualities of the old, and some of the colour of the new." _So many hints. Come on, Xiao, surely you're not _that_ dim..._

"Go away." Xiao muttered.

"Like a gaze from a crowd of strangers..."

Shang was openly laughing now. Xiao could not see the humour in all this. His face darkened.

"...suddenly one is aware of staring into the face of an old friend." Kalo removed his glasses again, at the same time Xiao looked up straight into his face, unable to take it any more.

"Look, could you just-" Xiao began, then he froze. Tears started to fill his eyes as he stood up slowly, staggering.

Shang was worried as she gazed from Kalo to Xiao. "Xiao? What is it?"

Kalo, sensing that this was not all going according to what he had imagined, said awkwardly, "Well, short version, not dead."

Xiao's face, usually expressionless, started growing angry and painful. Kalo, catching on, looked guilty. "I know, bit mean, springing on you like that. Could have given you a heart attack. Still, I thought it was rather funny." He laughed nervously. Xiao looked positively murderous.

Gasping, Shang had also stood up, easy tears flowing down her cheeks. "Oh, no! You're..."

Kalo glanced at her. "Oh yes," he answered simply.

"Oh my gosh."

"Not quite."

"You died. You blew yourself up!"

"No."

"You're dead!"

"No, I'm quite sure. I checked." Kalo said gently. Pulling on Shang's napkin, he quickly wiped off his fake moustache. Turning to Xiao again, he smiled nonchalantly, which Xiao did not return,

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, do you have any idea what you've done to him?" Shang finally found her voice again, and she sounded outraged.

"Okay, Xiao, I'm realising that I probably owe you some sort of apology..." Kalo looked down nervously, suddenly jumping. Xiao's fist had landed on the table with a loud crash. It's a wonder it didn't break.

Shang put her hands out, which were shaking. "Xiao? Take it easy..."

"One year." Xiao whispered tightly. He took a deep breath and whispered again. "One year. I thought..." Unable to continue, he glared at Kalo. Loosening his grip, he stood up. "I thought you were dead.

"And you let me grieve, hmm? How could you do that? _How_?" the last word was spat out harshly.

"Umm, before you do anything you regret," Kalo spoke up, finding his voice at last. "Just... just one question." He pointed at Shang, wincing slightly at Xiao's furious gaze. "You... finally got the courage to ask her out, eh?"

He started laughing. Unable to contain his anger any longer, Xiao kicked his foot into Kalo's gut, sending him down. He then hurled himself on Kalo and started throttling him, ignoring the attempts of Shang and the waiters who were trying to pull him off.


End file.
